Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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