I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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