two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
