I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
