genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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