Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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