do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
