so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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