So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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