On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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