I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
