wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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