did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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