all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
COCAINE IS GR8
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
