chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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