worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
