i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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