I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
