I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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