she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
