He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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