He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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