I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize