Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
