im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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