these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
