He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
