worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
