I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
