i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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