I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
