Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
