the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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