He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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