There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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