Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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