i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize