You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
