wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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