matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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