My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i believe in u and ur pee
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
