Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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