i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
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i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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