Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
