I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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