Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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