And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
