Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
