His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
