so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
