I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
