I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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