I think I died a long time ago.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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