just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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