So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
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The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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