he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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