Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
