Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
