You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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