I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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