I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
