Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
be right there i have to get my cape
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
