no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
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