I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
