Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
