i permit you to call me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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